The other blog

2006-09-25T20:54:00.001-05:00

And Honeymoon Pictures

2006-05-10T23:53:00.001-05:00

A short overview of our wedding and honeymoon: HERE.

Got a lot to backblog about too!

New Busch Stadium

2006-05-10T20:29:00.000-05:00

We got four First Base Field Boxes, a Stadium West parking pass, and some cash as a very generous wedding gift. Becuase of Dennis's recent injury, he was not able to attend the game with me.

There was almost a fist fight at work for the tickets when I mentioned they were available. I remember a few years back when you couldn't give tickets away for a weekday game like this.

Chris and I went to the game alone (we weren't going to pass that up!) The new staduim feels a lot like the old one in a lot of ways. I don't dislike it, but I don't feel fanatical about it either. If anything, it feels like it is even more money directed than the old stadium.

Our field boxes seemed lower, like we were more on the field level than we would have been at the old park.

It was a good game, the Cardinals won, and we didn't have a horrible time with traffic on the way out either.

The only thing missing was Dennis!

Well, that's one way to extend your honeymoon...

2006-05-08T21:26:00.000-05:00

Ouch!

Poor Dennis sprained his ankle last night while we were playing soccer with Chris. His foot is all blackish/purpleish, and he's in a lot of pain. Poor guy :(

I can't wait until he goes back to work and gets teased mercilessly for this one!

Wedding Pictures

2006-04-30T08:02:00.000-05:00

I am blogging from the business center of my hotel. I have a few wedding pictures to share:

Photobucket Album

No Dennis

2006-04-10T16:43:00.000-05:00

My dear Dennis left this morning for Kansas City. He is doing a three day training seminar that he is not excited about. He won't be back until Thursday. I can handle it, but it is actually going to be the longest we've been apart. We're such homebodies. :-D

Mmmmm BBQ

2006-04-07T21:35:00.000-05:00

Partly because we are honeymooning in Memphis, and partly because it just sounded good, we "discovered" Lil’ Mickey’s Memphis Barbeque. I had read something about it on the Post's website and Dennis just happened to remember it when I was being ambivalent about dinner.

Mmmm. If my tongue could orgasm, it would. It's that good.

Just in case there is any confusion...

2006-04-01T09:05:00.000-06:00

I suprised Dennis with a wedding gift last evening. It was supposed to wait until the wedding day, but since he had to call UPS to get the box off of the truck, and he drove to the UPS holding facility with me to pick the box up, (because our UPS driver is not leaving boxes at the apartment, and he's suspected of taking more than a few things by saying "left at office" and driving off with the boxes, which he did with one of my Christmas presents, but we called UPS and they made him drive back to the apartment with it after the rest of his shift was over, damn theif!) I let him in on it early.

I got us Bride:

and Groom T-shirts:

Dennis was really excited, and thinks the shirts are very cute. Hooray! I'm glad they went over so well. I knew he'd wear them, but I didn't know how excited he'd be about it. *sigh* I love him :-D

Tae-Kwon-Do

2006-03-28T21:18:00.000-06:00

Chris has been taking Tae-Kwon-Do for about two months now. He got his uniform at this evening's class. He is scheduled to test for his yellow stripe soon, and he's practicing his first and second forms right now before he heads off to bed. How cute is that?

No more zoot suit!

2006-03-26T19:29:00.000-06:00

Dennis bought a new suit for our wedding today. He looks really good in it, and I'm very glad to have that detail taken care of. The pants still need to have the hems finished, but other than that, he's good to go. Now I just need to find something for me to wear!!!

Unfortunately, I spent so much time in the Men's Departments today that I fear I've got "Zoot Suit Riot" permanently stuck in my head! ARGH! Make it stop!

Spring Break

2006-03-23T19:51:00.000-06:00

Chris has been gone since last Friday. He is visiting his Dad's side of the family in Indiana. I talked to him this evening, and he's having a great time. He got to meet his new cousin and hold him for a while. He's been doing something outside with his Grandma every day. Man, what I wouldn't give for a little spring break myself!

We've had people out at work this week, and we're doing top capacity as it is. The last two days were really rough, and I put in over three hours of overtime. Of course I am only going to be paid straight time for it, because I have to leave early for a Doctor's appointment on Monday, which is really discouraging.

Except for the work stress, the rest of the week home alone with Dennis has been really nice. We don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like, and nothing has been easy lately. We haven't even done our regular housework this week. We've just been relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Still, I can't wait to be away from it all and on our honeymoon!

MySpace Alternate Universe

2006-03-16T20:34:00.000-06:00

I don't visit MySpace all that often. I mostly started my profile to be able to see all of the MySpace links I was coming across. I bumped into a few people I know IRL, and I met a few people whom I almost know from RL activities I'm involved in. A friend of mine is married to a man in a local band, so I get regular updates about their goings on. Then I put up a crazy picture of me in hot pink pantyhose. Since then, my MySpace profile has taken on a life of its own, and apparently my alternate universe self is quite popular with men who like to wear hosiery! It has become some what of an experiment. I don't actively encourage anything, but I don't discourage it either. I just let my little MySpace self roam wild.

ZZZZZzzzzzzz z z z

2006-03-05T18:44:00.000-06:00

I've been sleeping alllll weekend. I slept in yesterday morning while Dennis went out with a friend, then I convinced him to take an afternoon nap with me, then we slept all night, and this afternoon I fell asleep on the couch while Chris and I were watching March of the Penguins. I think I'm caught up!

In other news, I'm really making a concerted effort to diet and exercise before the wedding. I haven't gotten back in shape since I got laid off and sat around getting fluffy, and this is just the kick in the butt I need to really get going. It is not great for my diet that a tasty new Chinese place with some of the best crab rangoon around just opened - way too close to the apartment. Must resist rangoon! (Mmm, that made me drool a little bit...)

Whew, that wore me out, I think I'm going to go lie down for a bit :)

We have a Wedding Date

2006-03-01T19:39:00.000-06:00

Dennis and I got engaged and purchased our rings in September. In January, we discovered that the St. Charles County Courthouse has a Shotgun Wedding Policy. Today, we learned that we can have our wedding when we had been hoping for!

In the spirit of my other Blog, I figured I'd just post the emails about it.

From: Shannon
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 10:18 AM
To: Dennis Doza
Subject: Married?

Do you want to try calling the courthouse today to see if we can get married in April??!?!??

Fom: Dennis Doza
To: Shannon
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 11:40 AM
Subject: RE: Married?

Do you still have the phone number?

From: Shannon
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 11:44 AM
To: Dennis Doza
Subject: Re: Married?

I don't, but Google does :)

TO HAVE A JUDGE PERFORM A MARRIAGE
All four Associate Circuit Judges perform marriages at no cost to the public on Fridays in their courtrooms. Judge Dan Pelikan performs marriages at 9:00 a.m. in the division 7 courtroom on the third floor of the courthouse. Judges Jon Cunningham, Terry Cundiff and William Lohmar perform marriages at 2:00 p.m. Judge Cunningham performs marriages in the Division 5 courtroom on the third floor of the courthouse. Judge Cundiff performs marriages in the Division 6 courtroom on the fourth floor of the courthouse. Judge Lohmar performs marriages in the Division 8 courtroom on the fourth floor of the courthouse. Marriages are performed by appointment only. Parties need to bring their marriage license and two witnesses and check in at least one-half hour prior to the ceremony. A marriage license needs to be applied for in advance at the Recorder of Deeds Office at 201 N. Second, St. Charles, Missouri. To make an appointment for the various divisions please call one of these numbers: Judge Cunningham, Division 5, 949-7495, Judge Cundiff, Division 6, 949-7380, Judge Pelikan, Division 7, 949-7385 or Judge Lohmar, Division 8, 949-3043.

From: Dennis Doza
To: Shannon
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 2:32 PM
Subject: RE: Married?

You wanted to try for the 28th, right?

From: Shannon
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 2:39 PM
To: Dennis Doza
Subject: Re: Married?

Yeah, in the morning if they've got it. That's why we were waiting until March... and it is not quite March yet :)

From: Dennis Doza
To: Shannon
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 9:10 AM
Subject: RE: Married?

We are ready to go.

We need to “check-in” @ 8:30am on April 28th. We can bring a Camera. We need 2 witnesses and a marriage license.

Now I’m excited :-D

From: Shannon
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 9:07 AM
To: Dennis Doza
Subject: Re: Married?

REALLY?!?!??!?!??!??!?!???!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

?!?!????!?!?

From: Dennis Doza
To: Shannon
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 9:13 AM
Subject: RE: Married?

Yes.

I need to get that Friday off and the whole next week, right?

From: Shannon
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 9:14 AM
To: Dennis Doza
Subject: Re: Married?

Yes, I believe that is correct. I need to do the same.

Are you really excited? Did you tell anyone?

From: Dennis Doza
To: Shannon
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 9:43 AM
Subject: RE: Married?

Yes, I am excited. Yes I told everyone I’ve bumped into, and asked for those days off from Byron when I told him.

big sigh of relief

2006-02-28T18:55:00.000-06:00

The maternity leave is over, I can go back to my ordinary daily routine. No more alternating jobs every day. *whew*

Rally. America. See the Irony?

2006-02-26T12:04:00.000-06:00

Last year I complained about the 100 Acre Wood Rally a little. I snuck that "authority figures" part in at the end of my post. What I meant to say was that it was not nearly as much fun as it had been in years past, and I didn't enjoy myself nearly as much, and I wondered if I would go back this year.

I did.

I'm pretty sure I won't make the same mistake next year, unless the event changes hands again before then. I know "every rally is what you make of it," but it seems to me that Rally America is doing everything in their power to keep spectators from making anything of it. Maybe I expect too much, but I do know that the first year I went was incredible, and since then it has been a downhill slide. Last year ran on time, but the spectator points were more lame, and IMO there was entirely too much crowd control, and this year amounted to a long ass drive to BF-Arkansas, a two and a half hour wait to see the cars navigate a corner from a terrible angle, and listening to too much flack directed at the spectators from the muckiety-mucks in official vehicles. Whatever.

Furniture, the Sequel

2006-02-19T09:34:00.000-06:00

We borrowed Dennis's Dad's truck and picked up our new furniture yesterday. We got the couch with no hassle at all, except that the couch and mattress set would not fit together with the truck cap on. It took us about twenty-five minutes to drive the couch home and unload it. When we returned to the store, we learned that American had "lost" our mattress and box spring.

I know a mattress and box spring are small items...

We were in the store for an hour and thirty-five minutes while they looked for our stuff. I gave up on standing in the warehouse, and went up to the front desk at the forty-five minute mark. I heard the girls at the front desk calling all of the managers, and I heard them calling back asking, "Is this about the missing mattress? Someone's looking."

Finally, after about twenty minutes of that, an actual manager came to the front desk. He made two phone calls, and within ten minutes, he had my mattress located, moved to the dock, and put on the truck. He did knock $100 off of my total bill, so now I know that Dennis and I are actually worth about $33 net per hour. Someone needs to tell my boss! Now if I could have just gotten the manager on the case an hour sooner, I wouldn't have anything to write here. I guess I paid for furniture, not service, and it is old fashioned and small-townish of me to expect to be treated well when I chose to spend my hard earned money at your store. Hrmph!

Anyway, despite all of that, I am in love with my new furniture. I slept very well on the new mattress. Mmmm, so comfy! I want to go back to it right now :)

New couch:

Welcome Ryan Matthew

2006-02-17T23:17:00.000-06:00

Christopher's Aunt Mary and Uncle Nate had their first baby this afternoon. This is Chris's first cousin on either side of the family. He's gotten all of the nephew/grandchild attention to himself for the past nine years. I wonder how he'll react at Christmas? He's excited today though :)

Congratulations to the new parents!

Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T21:37:00.000-06:00

I got cookies and baby Kit Kats. I'm quite satisfied with that.

Furniture

2006-02-12T19:31:00.000-06:00

After way too much looking around, we've finally decided on a new mattress set and a new couch! We won't get them until next weekend, and I am already stir crazy wanting to buy matching accessories for the living room.

Other than that, I have been extremely busy with work, and I have no desire to come home and look at a computer screen after the days we've been having. The blog is suffering, but I'm making it. I'm suprized at how much some of the people at work let it get to them though.

Sam Hill: Carpenter

2006-01-29T09:06:00.000-06:00

What came through our ceiling? After several calls back and forth with the leasing office, we learned that it is leveling compound from the bathroom floor upstairs seeping through our bathroom fan.

Apparently our man Sam Hill "knew that it would happen" and will "be by Monday to clean it up." Ain't it loverly? That is certainly not the way I would have handled the situation, if I were being paid to remodel the bathroom. Also, we just have self-stick vinyl tiles in the bathrooms, so I don't know why a hard, level, poured substrate would be necessary anyway. I guess that's why our man Sam makes the big bucks.

Who the Hell is Sam Hill Anyway?

2006-01-28T12:45:00.000-06:00

I walked into Chris's bathroom last evening to find this:

Of course my first thought was, "What in the Sam Hill did that kid do now?"

Followed by, "Look up."

The question has now become, "What in the Sam Hill happened upstairs?"

Cross Training

2006-01-24T21:04:00.000-06:00

I've been covering for someone at work every other day. She is gone until the end of next month on maternity leave. My department is starting to get busy, and I feel very disloyal leaving them all day to do this simple work. However, I know that the other department I'm helping needs the extra person, and I know that we're all one big team.

I don't like the work. It is half phone work, but at least the people on the other end of the line are our customers who have active orders, and I am not selling anything. The other half is mind-numbingly boring and repetitive. I honestly don't know why it isn't automated. I'm sure Microsoft Access is smart enough to do it on its own.

Mantra for the week: I can do anything on a temporary basis.

While the cat's away...

2006-01-22T22:43:00.000-06:00

Dennis and I got to have an adults only weekend out of town. (Yeah, a date, I think it is getting serious!) We went to Springfield Illinois to see the sights.

Saturday:

Lincoln's Home:

View of the Old State Capital from Lincoln's Law Office:

We also saw the new Lincoln Presidential Library / Museum. It was incredible! Standing in front of one of the copies of the Gettysburg Address brought me to tears. Very neat!

We had dinner at Jolly Tamale, which was a nice trip down memory lane for me. I am not sure how impressed Dennis was with it, but you know, it wasn't bad food. Then we caught up with my family at Springfield High School. My sister had a Highland Dance program. It was a little disorganized, but fun anyway. I didn't feel well overnight, but I was fine again in the morning. Go figure!

Sunday:

Lincoln's Tomb:

Frank Lloyd Wright's Dana-Thomas House:

Check. Check.

2006-01-15T11:56:00.000-06:00

My neighbors are doing their weekly bass check. They have to pray at the church of annoyingly loud Sunday morning club jam. Every once in a while they'll spin the new NIN CD, but mostly it is "bom BOM BOM BOM do do BOM." Right now, it is "BOM BOM BOM. do do do dodo. BOM BOM BOM."

I think he likes rock, and she likes booty music. Oh hell, maybe I should give her a break. She could be practicing her new pole routine. It is, after all, all about the benjamins.

Besides, they've got to hear me singing in the shower :o

Who Are You, and What Have You Done with my Son?

2006-01-13T23:55:00.000-06:00

Chris was good all week. He filled out his planner, he did his homework with a minimum amount of fuss, he cleaned up after himself, he passed out extra hugs, and he was even less sassy than usual. All of his grades were great, there weren't any notes from the teacher, he worked on extra projects for Cub Scouts.

Huh. I hope this means we've turned a corner. He seems to be maturing in "giant steps" now, instead of staying in one place or doing one step forward, two steps back. Unless, of course, this is just the giant step forward that preceeds the two giant steps back!!!

Little Me

2006-01-12T22:12:00.000-06:00

I have been scanning some old pictures, and I just like this one.

Easter 1987

I Smell Bitchy People

2006-01-10T20:09:00.000-06:00

Apparently I missed the memo that today is International Be a Great Big Bitchy Bitch Day. Everyone else at work got it. Possibly in triplicate.

Whoo-hoo, nothing beats a good old fashioned random bitching out over nothing in the middle of the morning for no apparent reason!

Crosseyed

2006-01-08T17:13:00.000-06:00

Blech.

I spent almost all day messing around with the formatting and post order of my other Blog. I know, I know, this is "The Other Blog"... I'm confused too!

I love reading those old love letters. They make me sentimental. Unfortunately, reading them, and rearranging them, and fighting with Blogger for the past five and a half hours has A) wasted an entire Sunday, and B) given me an enormous headache. I'd forgotten how painful it is to stare at the internet all day. Thank goodness for gainful employment!

But what if it isn't a shotgun wedding?

2006-01-05T21:55:00.000-06:00

This week we found out that you can't schedule a courthouse wedding in St. Charles county until you are within ninety days if you want an afternoon spot, or sixty days if you want an elusive morning one. Of course travel planning for something as important as a honeymoon needs more lead time than that, at least the way I prefer to do it.

I'm frustrated. I've already seen that getting certain hotels in Memphis might be difficult the weekend I'm looking at, and I really did want to get married at 9:00 A.M. and hit the road for the day earlier rather than later. I'm afraid it will be too late and we'll be too tired if we don't leave town until 4:00 or 5:00 in the afternoon. I have hit a snag, and I have stopped thinking about it again.

I realized that I really don't want a wedding. I want to be married. (I already knew this, since I already had my wedding, and now I want a marriage...) I want the actual "ceremony" to be as unfussy and quick as possible. I really do want a courthouse wedding for no other reason than it is done and over with in three to five minutes. I am very excited about going away on a trip with Dennis though. I wonder if that means I am focused on the wrong thing, or the right thing?

A Passing Fad

2006-01-04T21:25:00.000-06:00

I feel much better this evening about all of my old flames and old feelings. I really needed to talk it all out with Dennis. He's right, without all of the combined experiences of my life, I would not have known what to do when I met him.

I printed out pictures of Kit and Jamie, and they're hanging up at work. I also forwarded the picture of my old crush to a friend at work, and she said, "Aw, what a cutie! I can totally see you two together..." Tee hee!

(Very Old) Friends and Lovers

2006-01-02T16:37:00.001-06:00

One of my oldest and dearest friends is back in our hometown for the week. I spent the better part of the day with him and his wife yesterday. It was nice to see the old haunts. His parents' house is the same. We looked at yearbooks and spent a lot of time refreshing each others' memories. I guess it has been about twenty years or so that we've been friends. I haven't seen him for about seven or eight years, but we do manage to keep a rough idea of what is going on via email.

Yesterday was the first time it hit me that I had impacted other people in High School. I ran with a fairly tight group, and the few people I was close with were extremely important to me. I always felt that I was not a significant portion of the group, that I was struggling to fit in even among those closest friends. I guess we all felt that way sometimes. It makes me wonder if I cross their minds anymore, because I know how much I think about them.

I came away from the whole experience a bit confused and a bit tormented. I love Kit, and I was extremely happy to see him. I also hated that period in my life a lot, and I apparently still have a few demons to drive out. I was very glad to be back home with Dennis. I know I belong here. I am very glad to see Kit happier and more stable than he ever was, and he didn't seem to be struggling too much with the experience of coming home.

I also found that I have my very own real life trick candle of an old flame. Here's the back story, which I wrote to Dennis in 2002:

We've actually got quite a long history. He moved to Litchfield in 7th grade. I had a big huge Junior High crush on him - he probably owes me $50 worth of soda! He's one of the reasons I learned so much about punk rock - I wanted to impress him, and the punk attitude was working for me at the time. Haha, I don't know if he has a clue how much he's impacted my life over the years :) He was one of the first "real people" I though about waaay back when I was just starting to figure out how my parts all worked - but he certainly doesn't know that! LOL - so through the years we'd make out off and on - we always hung out here and there. He lived right down the street from Kit, and they were buddies, so I saw him a lot over the summers. I would never let him have me though, cause I knew his game - which pissed him off to no end - I loved it :) When I was sad about breaking up with Ray, he gave me the sweetest kiss of my life - that was the first time I actually felt anything but pure lust for him or from him. He just held me for a while - which I really did NOT expect from him - it opened my eyes to the fact that he was a real person, not just a hormone collection area :) After Jim, we hung a lot, worked out great as friends with benefits. I raped him a few times, once that he can't even remember :-D We never got attached - just had sex and hung and chilled and were just buddies - oh, and smoked huge quantities of weed... He's a great friend - I still love him like that. I'll always love him like that.

I still have dreams about that boy. The place where I got the best kiss of my life is Kit's driveway. I stood there yesterday. I stopped at the grain bin where he spray painted his name. I feel like I'm back in junior high over him all over again. I thought about him for most of the drive home last night. It's blowing my mind a little - ok, a LOT!

I just had to dig up old pictures, and here's one of him, the last day of our senior year of High School:

Christmas #4

2006-01-01T09:17:00.001-06:00

We had our final installment of Christmas 2005 yesterday, at my parents' house.

Presenting... Inky!

2005-12-30T21:46:00.001-06:00

Chris finally came home from Indiana this evening. It is so good to have him home! It was a very relaxing Christmas week though ;)

He got a "mousey" cage from us for Christmas last week. This evening, we went out to buy his "mousey". He wound up choosing the cutest baby gerbil ever.

Her name is Inky :)

Whoa! I'm getting Married!

2005-12-28T19:40:00.000-06:00

I've been looking at Memphis and Tennessee in general on the internet while we are so slow at work this week. I think we've got the beginnings of a honeymoon planned, and I think we may have the date of April 28th picked out for our wedding. I'm really excited about it now. I don't know what made me turn the corner, exactly, but it was powerful to imagine myself and Dennis in the places I was seeing on the screen on our honeymoon :-D Yea!

Mmmm, long weekend!

2005-12-26T12:22:00.000-06:00

*yawn*

I could stay home with Dennis forever. *sigh* I love being in love :-D

I'm Dreaming of a Slushy Christmas

2005-12-25T14:09:00.000-06:00

Well, it is partly white, anyway.

Merry Slushmas, everyone!

Christmas #3

2005-12-23T21:33:00.000-06:00

We had a nice Christmas morning this morning before work. I think Santa did well this year!

Dennis and Chris met me at work for lunch. We went out to the good Subway on Page. It was very nice to see them. Chris left with his Dad for Christmas. We won't see him again for a week. I sure will miss him :(

Sixteen Candles and Playing Santa

2005-12-22T23:44:00.000-06:00

Today is my little sister's 16th birthday. We went to Litchfield to eat dinner with the family. The Ruby Tuesday up there is pretty good. Beth got her driver's license today, and she drove by herself for the first time. We just got back home, and now we've got to go play Santa. Our wacky schedule this year has us doing Christmas morning tomorrow before I leave for work.

I also found out today that my boss will not let me work off my three hours of vacation, and I am probably not going to get paid for the twenty minutes of overtime I put in yesterday. She said that I would have needed to arrange for that before hand. I shot back a slightly unprofessional reply that there was no way I could have, since I did not know I would be using my vacation time until the following Monday, and that I WOULD be paid for my extra time. If this job gets in the way of my ability to be a good fiance and mother, it is doing me no good at all. I am sacrificing a lot to work this kind of job instead of chasing my real career all over the place. I'm really upset with the whole thing. I'm positive that the only way to "win" is to lie. That makes me really angry. I guess it was all by the book, and I guess I should have known when I took a job that required me to punch a time clock. I'll probably be angry all over again when I get this check on January 6 and see that I am not being paid either. What burns me the most is how they preached on and on about their flexibility during my job interview. Yeah, right.

Christmas #2

2005-12-18T20:11:00.000-06:00

We had Christmas with Dennis's family today. We have to spread everything out on the years that Chris is with his Dad for Christmas. We had a great time!

They also got a new Christmas puppy. He does not have a name yet, but he sure is cute:

Another Party

2005-12-15T22:07:00.000-06:00

We've been partying down at work this week. We had a bridal shower for one of the women who just got married over the weekend. I made my meatballs again, by request! I also threw in a pan of home fries. I'm glad I did, because the two vegetarians at work didn't have much else to eat.

Looking at her beautiful wedding pictures got me a little bit excited about my wedding. I spent some time looking at possible honeymoon destinations online when it was slow.

Some Vacation!

2005-12-12T19:17:00.000-06:00

I found out this morning at work that my company is forcing me to use three of my vacation hours for my daycare debauchle on Thursday. Had I known that I would not be able to use my last 2 1/2 hours of sick time, I would have sent Dennis instead. Wonderful! I sure do wish she would have told me this up front. Now I know that if any other emergencies come up, someone will always, always be sick... This is going to put me just a few hours short of a full week for my honeymoon in April.

We had a baby shower for one of the women at work today. My department went in together for a bogger gift, and it was really a hit! I'm glad it worked out, since I was the one who first suggested it. *whew* I also cooked my meatballs. Dennis was not sure that they would go over, but everyone gobbled them up. There were only six left, and I gave them away for someone to take home. *whew*

In other news, Chris started his new afterschool routine today! We did indeed switch daycare providers. I don't know that they believed we would. It was "fine with them" anyway. I hope the new place works out, they seem very nice - at least so far...

Mastodons, Giant Sloths and Cub Scouts, OH MY!

2005-12-11T18:49:00.000-06:00

The Cub Scout Den went to Mastodon State Park this afternoon.

Look out!!!

The Spelling Gene

2005-12-09T14:34:00.000-06:00

My son has a spelling gene.

He was the last boy standing at his school's spelling bee today. He got "fourth place" although they don't really award anything for being the last one not in the top three.

I'm so proud!

I do not know where he got the spelling gene. I'm thinking we must have switched babies in the maternity ward...

Can I get a do over?

2005-12-08T21:19:00.000-06:00

It was not a good day.

It snowed.

Work was very slow.

Chris's daycare called at 12:30 to let me know that they were not going to run their van today, so they could not pick him up from school.

What exactly is that that I am paying them quite a bit of money to do?

Instead of being frustrated, I just simply said, "Well, I'm glad we've paid you for this service" and hung up. Another of the daycare workers (Miss Mary from Just 4 Us on Highway 94 if you are keeping score) called me back at work to tell me some more reasons why they just couldn't possibly run the van today, and just basically bawl me out. I told her we'd had quite enough of Just 4 Us, thank you, and to please never pick my son up again. To which she said, "That's fine with us."

Apparently I was paying them not only to not pick up my son, but also for their incredible tact and inspiring customer service skills.

After leaving work three hours early, I arrived at Chris's school to find every other daycare fan in the area patiently waiting in line to pick up their charges at the end of the day.

I have had lingering anger all evening, to the point I think I understand what makes people go "postal" a bit too much. I need some tea and a sleeping pill. Or just a cigarette. Fifteen months is not enough time to kill that craving.

As Promised...

2005-12-06T19:23:00.000-06:00

My First Fake Tree:

Ray Family Christmas Party (Christmas #1)

2005-12-04T19:59:00.000-06:00

The annual Ray Family Christmas Party was held today in Bukner Hill.

Chris had a blast running around with his cousins. Dad and Dennis mostly sat around talking about guns. Beth was trying to be cool. I ate too much :)

Best of all, Santa came, and brought us all a little something.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

2005-12-03T10:19:00.000-06:00

You know ;)

I finally bit the bullet and bought a FAKE Christmas tree. It is just OK. I don't *love* it, but it isn't horribly disgusting and trashy either. I miss the smell of a real tree so much! I do not miss stepping on pine needles. I also bought Bing Crosby and Elvis Christmas CDs, so now I have something to listen to while I tell my family to stand back and quit helping trim the tree!

Today Dennis is out on his own, running around in the cold woods with guns and Koby. That means I am online Christmas shopping till my credit card runs out, at least. I'm shocked and amazed at the overcharging for shipping! Now I know how everyone makes up their great "online price breaks." *cough*

The tree is not quite finished, but pictures will follow shortly.

I'm also going to ride the wayback machine to October and backBlog like crazy trying to get back to the Future. Ah, Saturday home alone!

It's been going around...

2005-12-02T19:48:00.000-06:00

10 Random things about me you may not know:
1. I am a perfectionist.
2. I like to plan ahead.
3. I listen to rap and booty dance when I am home alone.
4. ONLY when I am home alone!
5. I do not like to sing in front of Dennis.
6. I haven’t shaved my legs this week.
7. I am putting on weight.
8. Work is the only place I ever wear makeup.
9. I did not want to have children.
10. Dennis and I are not going to have any.

9 Places I've visited:
1. House on the Rock, Wisconsin.
2. West Virginia.
3. Disney World.
4. A Reanissance Fair.
5. A club called “The Other World” that used to be on Delmar.
6. New Orleans.
7. Ames, Iowa.
8. Daniel Boone’s home.
9. The top of the Sear’s Tower.

8 Ways to win my heart:
1. Be genuine.
2. Be caring.
3. Show compassion.
4. A devistating kiss.
5. Cracked sense of humor.
6. Try hard.
7. Be honest, even if it hurts.
8. Cuddling.

7 Things I must do before I die:
1. Give my son my very best effort at motherhood.
2. Travel – everywhere.
3. Marry Dennis.
4. Figure out my relationship with my Dad.
5. Make a friend.
6. Move to the country.
7. See Chris as a happy, well-adjusted adult.

6 Things I'm afraid of:
1. Losing someone I love.
2. Alienating someone I love.
3. Getting angry and doing something dumb.
4. Getting old without grace.
5. The dark.
6. Little ankle-biter dogs.

5 Things I don't like:
1. Gassy foods.
2. Snot.
3. Dog breath.
4. Human breath on the back of my neck.
5. Snobby people.

4 Ways to turn me off:
1. Holier-than-thou attitude.
2. Judging me without knowing me.
3. Pretention.
4. Treating me like a child.

3 things I do every day:
1. Hug Dennis and Chris.
2. Brush my teeth at least three times.
3. Drink two cups of coffee.

2 things that make me happy:
1. Spending time with Dennis.
2. Being outside.

1 Thing that is on my mind right now:
I have a headache that I really want to get rid of quickly.

I Want to Be a Dentist

2005-11-29T20:44:00.000-06:00

Not really, but I was very excited to GO TO the dentist today. I have never had a cavity, and I'm very careful with my teeth. I could not WAIT to get them cleaned. Good news - STILL no cavaties. My teeth feel so good! I can't stop running my tongue all over them.

Chris is not doing quite that well. He has an old filling that is giving him trouble, the tooth next to it has a cavity, and he's got his first cavity in an adult tooth. Darn it! He's going to have the worst tooth pulled. It is next in line to come out anyway, so hopefully this won't be too much trouble for him.

Gobble Gobble Goo and Gobble Gobble Gickel

2005-11-27T13:28:00.000-06:00

We had second Thanksgiving yesterday at my parents' house. (We had planned to go Thrusday, but mom wound up working afternoons, thanks Mom's boss...) This time there were mashed potatoes and gravy, hurrah! We had smoked and regular turkey. Yum!

My Dad showed off pictures from his trip to Colorado this summer. Then he invited Dennis to go elk hunting next year. This is a very big deal. I don't know if Dennis even realizes how big of a deal it is. He didn't invite me either...

I did not get to take pictures this year, because we left the camera at DJ & Cathy's on Thursday. Boo :(

You can get anything you want...

2005-11-24T18:52:00.000-06:00

...at Alice's Restaurant, of course!

At 12:00, we were in the car on the way to Dennis's parents' house, and I remembered to check KSHE! Dennis did not think that he had heard it before, and Chris did not remember hearing it before, so we turned it up and kept right on listening even after we'd gotten to the house. We had to sit in the driveway for about seven minutes.

Mmmm, dinner was good, no mashed potatoes and gravy, but still quite tasty.

DJ & Cathy still have a stupid hummingbird that just didn't migrate. They left the feeder out for it, but I can't imagine it is going to make it through the winter here. Maybe it is the Sid the Sloth of the hummingbird world, and the family intentionally left it behind?

Gotta go now... turkey coma... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm feeling Self-Made

2005-11-15T08:02:00.000-06:00

For the first time since my divorce, I have real, honest-to-goodness, actual healthcare and dental insurance. Hooray! I can go to the dentist! I can go to the doctor! I can get shots! I can have uncomfortable "procedures"! I can fall down and break various parts! Whoooooo-hooooo!

I've been paying for Chris to be covered, and I am going to continue to do so. It seems that my "group coverage" is actually MORE EXPENSIVE than what I was able to get on my own through Blue Cross. Filed in "things that make you go hmm."

BOO!

2005-10-31T20:30:00.000-06:00

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It isn't much when Chris is gone though.

I had thought about running off to get married over the weekend. NIN is playing in Nashville tonight. How cool would it have been to end a short honeymoon with another concert? But it didn't happen, and that's ok.

Chris is trick-or-treating with his Dad this year. They should be back soon though. He is "Lord Voldemort" this year. We don't know exactly what he should look like, and the new Harry Potter movie doesn't come out for a few weeks, so we're improvising! (It looks a lot better when he is wearing pants).

Jack (Sparrow) O'Lantern

2005-10-28T23:22:00.000-05:00

We had to carve our pumpkins before Chris left for the weekend. Chris is very good at doing this all by himself. He's very creative, and amazingly, he doesn't get too frustrated with the whole process. Of course he loves sticking his hand in pumpkin goo. Who doesn't?

Dennis made a very cool pirate for this year's jack o'lantern. *sigh* If it really was Jack Sparrow... *sigh*

Here's the whole family:

(Mine is the scaredy-cat on the left, and Chris's is the robot on the right.)

I've had the same job for...

2005-10-27T20:14:00.000-05:00

Ninety days!

Frost on the Pumpkins

2005-10-24T21:08:00.000-05:00

We went to Eckert's Farm in Grafton yesterday to pick our own pumpkins. It was still damn cold, and running around the pumpkin patch was slightly uncomfortable when the sun peeked behind a cloud.

We also bought apples so that I can bake a pie. Yum!

Cub Scout Camp

2005-10-23T18:35:00.000-05:00

We spent Friday night freezing at Cub Scout Family Camp. It was held at Beaumont Scout Reservation. Chris had a good time, played with the kids, hiked, learned to identify several local trees, struck a match and helped start a fire (in a fire pit, with supervision!) and other scouty things.

He got to participate in the Flag Ceremony Saturday afternoon:

We stayed until after the campfire and skits Saturday night, then headed home to sleep in our very own warm beds! (Yeah, yeah, we're total pussies, but at least we didn't have to sleep in the rain.)

I have uploaded a Photobucket Album of the whole trip.

Reading

2005-10-18T19:41:00.000-05:00

I read something!

I haven't taken anything from the reading list lately, but did pick up Jeff Shaara's Of God's and Generals and The Last Full Measure. I just finshed the latter. I do not think they were as good as his father's book, The Killer Angels, but I did enjoy them.

NIN

2005-10-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

WOW!

I haven't been to a big concert in a while. Dennis and I went to see Nine Inch Nails last night. Strangely enough, it was almost 10 years to the day since the last time I saw them live. (October 11, 1995) It was so good. I had a really great time. Dennis is "not a concert person," but he seemed to enjoy himself.

I have a friend from work who was on the list, and decided not to go at the last minute. Of course I think my friend from work is officially mental. I get weak in the knees thinking of going backstage, and she is able to casually blow it off like it just isn't a big deal. She has the luxury of having been socially snubbed by Trent Reznor quite a few years ago, and she is irritated that the lineup of the Queens of the Stone Age has changed, and no longer includes a close personal friend of hers. It is probably a good thing that she did not go and did not invite me, because I would not have been able to play it cool in front of, like, real famous people. I'm sure I would have been Queen Retard.

The grapes are sour, I'm telling you. S-O-U-R.

Not that it ruined my concert experience. I felt 18 again, and that is not a bad thing.

Highland Games

2005-10-08T19:50:00.000-05:00

We (Chris included) went to the St. Louis Highland Games today to watch my sister dance.

It was a good time! The weather could not have been any better. I did get a sunburn though :)

Fish are Friends, not Food

2005-10-06T10:38:00.000-05:00

Well, that's backwards. People at work are not friends. Not even the friendly ones.

I have been feverish on and off all week. I was miserable at work yesterday, either freezing to death or sweating through my shirt. I was miserable last night. My glands are swollen out to my jawbone. In short, I'm sick. If I somehow manage to hold on to this God-forsaken job for that long, I will have full health insurance and a few hours worth of sick time in less than three weeks. I am doing my level best to deal with this on my own, and to keep my paycheck out of the red along the way. I muddled through yesterday, but I just couldn't make it today. I got dressed, took some extra medicine, and made my way in like a trooper, but I just couldn't do it today. I worked for an hour, and then I came home. This is all coming straight out of my pocket, mind you, and wiping out any overtime I may have had built up as well.

The bitches in my department wouldn't even acknowledge me as I made my apologies and made my way out the door today. I'm feeling like a bit of a loose cannon because of my fever, so I came straight home and sent this email:

******,

I was just wondering if you were not speaking to me because I came TO work sick this morning, or because I came home FROM work sick.

I certainly didn't plan this either way, and I am most definitely not enjoying it.

Shannon

Perhaps they feel that I planned to miss work today because they had a big drama-filled meeting scheduled for 10:00 A.M. and I lit out at 9:55. Yeah, because that is how I roll. In truth, I was looking forward to the ridiculousness of the entire situation, and I was hoping for some Blog-worthy bullshit from the whole thing. I'm sad to be missing it.

I have to do more work because you're stupid.

2005-09-29T20:51:00.000-05:00

Isn't that the way it goes when we cater to the lowest common denominator?

I got in trouble at work today for knowing too much geography. If I can look at the UPS map and see that our transit time is going to be three days, I won't go to the time and trouble of running the transit time on UPS.com and printing it out. I wasn't running transit times on shipments that other people could not tell by looking would make it, because they "don't know the map that well."

Of course I am not to be trusted! So I am running transit times on every single thing now. Forget it. I am not even going to try to convince them that I know anything. I'll just dumb it down.

Dumb it down.

And that's what makes America so damn great!

Bling

2005-09-24T22:45:00.000-05:00

I have my engagement ring! I am wearing it right now. After all of the daydreaming and showing internet pictures of the other set, I wound up with a plainly set solitare on a white gold band.

As soon as she set the loose stone in the ring at the store, I knew that I had it right. In truth, I could have opted for a larger stone, because I came in under budget, but I am extremely pleased with this one. It felt right, and I was not about to fight that. We have our wedding rings as well. I have a 2mm white gold band to set next to mine, and Dennis has a 4mm white gold band.

I've also sorted out my feelings about marrying again, and I am not nervous anymore. I'm just plain old in love now :-D

Every Day is Exacty the Same

2005-09-20T19:18:00.000-05:00

Nothing ever happens during the week. Every day is the same routine, and there is very little spare time to do anything. This is a big change from a few months ago when I had unlimited free time.

Chris had his first Cub Scout Pack meeting last night. He looks so cute in his uniform, but he refuses to let me take his picture in it.

I do not have fuzzy feelings about my new job, and I am putting my resume out there in a very real way now. I like the people I work with directly, but that is about as far as it goes. I do not know how to work with backstabbing, double talking, busy body women. I am not like that, and I do not relate to it. One of the women who has been there for about eight years has decided that she does not like me. I don't figure I'll be sticking around for too long, even if I wanted to. I believe it's time for me to fly.

I am ignoring the fact that Dennis and I are engaged for right now. I think it needs to simmer. I'm not pregnant (I know you were thinking it) and we're not in any kind of hurry, so I'm not going to stress over it. We always do our best when we let things take their course. So I'm just going to sit and wait for a while. Nothing is going to change, and we can save up for that ring I want ;) *giggle*

Ring Shopping

2005-09-17T20:56:00.000-05:00

I am still very bug-eyed about the engagement. I am very glad that there is no date set. I did not feel this agitated when the discussion was hypothetical. Now that it is real, all kinds of memories, anxieties, and fears are being dredged up. I didn't know that I would feel so uneasy about it. I know that I love Dennis, and I know that he is the guy I am supposed to wind up with, and I am not afraid of our relationship getting ruined. I am scared of that M word though. I don't think that I believe in marrying for love anymore. I don't know what a second marriage means for me. I don't know what marriage means to Dennis. We're talking about it. We're playing around with the idea. We'll get it sorted out, I know, but right now I am a little uncomfortable.

So we went ring shopping today.

I walked straight out of The Shane Co. Too crowded, too stuffy, and it was freezing cold in there too. Nevermind. It felt just like a crypt.

I looked at rings in Sears while Dennis tried on work pants.

I took Dennis to Kay Jewelers and let him take the full heat of the high-pressure sales people while I acted disinterested. Then I told the salesman who would not leave me alone that the last ring I got there broke, but I didn't bring it back because the marriage failed anyway. He still tried to sell around that. I got up and walked right out of the store. Dennis wasn't far behind, but he did get talked into taking a card and a Kay's special bridal magazine. He won't have to go through a lot of the traditional wedding experiences, but I thought that he should at least get a taste. I was amused.

We wound up at Jared at the Mills. I liked it there. I like a ring they have there. I know that I want this style. We looked at it with a center stone we can't afford, but I know that this is the general idea that I'm after.

Uh, yeah, I guess so...

2005-09-15T20:53:00.000-05:00

Dennis asked me to marry him!

Last night we discussed the general idea of marriage, and I got on a tangent about expectations, and tax breaks enticing people to "do the right thing" and had myself in quite a negative frame of mind about the entire idea of marriage, when he said, "So, will you marry me?"

Silence.

"Are you being serious?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Really!"

"THIS is what I get? Well, since you are half-assing me, here's my answer, 'uh, yeah, I guess so'."

Followed immediately by a huge case of cold feet and self-doubt, and eventually I said, "This isn't fair! You can't get me all negative about a subject like this and then expect an overwhelmingly positive answer. I can't even see your face it's so dark in here! Are you serious?"

Then this afternoon, he asked me again. This time, he was getting ready to put on his socks, gave me a hug with a sock in each hand beind my back, and said, "Will you marry me?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes!"

Again, a little pause, and finally, "Yeah, I will."

Yeah, I know, it is the most romantic story ever.

LOL

So apparently I am engaged. It isn't real yet. I don't have any thoughts yet. I am freaked out. I feel very bug-eyed.

Anniversary

2005-09-13T20:41:00.000-05:00

It's been a year since I quit smoking.

My last cigarette was before bed on September 12, 2004. The first cigarette I didn't smoke was first thing in the morning on Monday, September 13, 2004.

Hooray!

That's something like 7300 cigarettes that I haven't smoked, and something like $1300 I didn't spend on the damn things.

Nobody remembered or said anything to me, but that's ok. I know. :-D

Tied-Arch

2005-09-08T19:43:00.000-05:00

We went for a hike across the Missouri River Bridge on the Page Avenue Extension / Route 364 the other evening. Now, of course, I am curious about the bridge.

According to MoDot,

The bridge over the Missouri River connecting St. Louis and St. Charles counties and is actually two separate bridges. The structure itself is called a "tied arch" bridge because each arch is tied together with many steel cables. Each tied arch bridge was erected on bridge piers near the banks of the Missouri River. Four barges then floated each structure to their permanent position over the Missouri River. Each bridge will carry five lanes of traffic across the Missouri River, and the westbound bridge has a separate bike trail.

*Each tied arch structure is 616 feet long, 125 feet high and 90 feet wide
*90,000 cubic yards of concrete were used for the driving surface and bridge piers
*The structures contain 16 ½ million pounds of reinforcing steel
*78,000 feet of piling (beams drilled into the ground to support the bridge)
*3,000 feet of drilled shafts (the actual holes drilled into the ground)
*The steel girders and the two arches are comprised of 33 million pounds of structural steel
*The tied arches are held together by 444,000 bolts
*If the cables of the two tied arches were all connected, they would stretch 3 ½ miles
*It is 3,244 feet from the abutment on the St. Louis side to the abutment on the St. Charles side

Here it comes, that funny feeling again...

2005-09-06T19:30:00.000-05:00

I can have selective amnesia when it comes to learning from my past. I am hearing sirens and seeing flashing lights at my job. I do not want to go through another fiasco on the scale of Miller Certified Air, ever again. Here I go again, my resume on Monster.com is updated, and I'm actively looking for work.

Why?

I do not want to be treated like a statistic. I do not want to feel my imminent replacablilty every single day. I do not want to live in fear of someone with some seniority who has decided that she will not like me. I do not want to have to fight tooth and nail for every penny of overtime that I am due. I do not want to have the fact that I know someone who got fired on her 82nd day hanging over my head. I don't want an unapproachable, two faced boss. (Another unapproachable, two faced boss...)

I know, that is a lot to ask, but for Christ's sake, I have a very expensive degree from and highly regarded University. So I'm going to take my happy little entitled ass elsewhere as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

Birthday Bash

2005-09-05T11:48:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you. You look like a monkey, and you act like one too...

We held Chris's birthday party yesterday in DuSable Park, along the Katy Trail, just north of Historic Main Street in St. Charles.

Paul's Family, my Ex-In-Laws, came out for the weekend. It was nice to see them, and yet somehow every strange at the same time. It is also always strange to hang out with Chris's Dad all day. Especially lately, since we haven't seen him for weeks. Pictures have been edited and uploaded to a Photobucket Album.

After the party, we all went for a browse around Historic Main Street. Paul Sr. bought us all a round of ice cream, we walked down to the river, and just hung out. All in all, it was a pretty good day.

The Times-Picayune

2005-09-01T17:44:00.000-05:00

The New Orleans daily has been running an incredible web based version of itself since they lost the ability to print actual newspapers.

Nola.com has traditionally been a site that I've turned to for Mardi Gras webcams, New Orleans weather, and good hotel deals. Now it has become something entirely different. It is one of the few sources for very local coverage - right down to individual Parish reports. I've been reading it over my lunch hour at work every day this week.

I HEART NO

2005-08-30T21:08:00.000-05:00

I want to wear a t-shirt that says I heart New Orleans. I do not want that place to be going through what it is going through right now. I was glad yesterday when it hadn't filled up with water. I am in shock now. I've been bitten by the New Orleans bug in a big way, the city deeply affected and enchanted me. I am at a loss for words right now.

Every year meteorologists cock their eyebrows at at least one storm in the Gulf. I don't know if the general population does this or not. Every year we say the what ifs and we say the thank goodnesses. Every year we think, "What if Camille wasn't the big one?" I don't have any inside track on knowing that a city near the sea that is below sea level is living on borrowed time.

My heart is breaking for the city, and for the people in the city. And for the people in the lower parishes. And for the people in Biloxi and Gulfport and everyone who is affected. I've spent a lot of time looking at storm damage, and I'm amazed by the level of the destruction.

I do have a sweatshirt that says "New Orleans" on it. I just need to cut out a heart and pin it on...

(Scanned copy of an actual photograph printed on real photographic paper, taken five years ago. Apologies for the quality. It is old school.)

Happy Birthday

2005-08-30T08:08:00.000-05:00

Today is my baby's 9th birthday.

Cute, but goofy. I am hanging on to that picture for his first Prom date.

He is taking the bowl of cookies with him to school. My parents and sister came down last night and took us all out to Joe's Crab Shack for dinner. He enjoyed it a lot, and he got a groovy shirt too.

Schuetzenground

2005-08-28T22:08:00.000-05:00

We finally caught a break today and got out of town for a while.

We drove out 94 past the wineries, along the Katy trail, over the river and through the woods, to Cowan's in Washington. We made a quick stop at the Daniel Boone home, but we did not feel up to the tour today. We ate a nice homey meal and enjoyed HUGE slices of pie for dessert.

On the way home, we stopped by Dennis's new find, Reifsnider State Forest. Reifsnider is located off of Schuetzenground road. We all enjoyed saying that ten times fast. I took my car across a rock bottom low water bridge*. I proceeded to get it extremely dirty on the gravel/dirt road. Hooray!

It was really nice to unwind for a few hours. I've been on overdrive since we decided to move.

*otherwise known as driving across a creek

Spinning

2005-08-25T21:31:00.000-05:00

Since I've joined the Squishy Place, I've driven past the Alberici windmill (at I-170 and Page Avenue) on a regular basis. I always watch it while I'm driving. On days when it is in motion, I like to eat lunch at one of the places nearby that affords a view of it. I really enjoy the way it rotates with an approaching thunderstorm. I've also noticed a microclimate where two nearby flags always flap at about a 30 degree angle to the windmill itself. I believe the flags are catching wind coming down from the interstate embankment, while the windmill is indicating the true wind direction.

I don't know where I'm going!

2005-08-22T22:04:00.000-05:00

Someone has taken the girl out of South County! I've got that good old fashioned lost all the time feeling again. I have to think hard before I go anywhere around here and plan my routes. I am not very familiar with the St. Charles area, and I am making "discoveries" every day. I am still considering just about every outing an experiment, and I'm slowly learning which roads connect to each other so that one day I hope to really know my way around.

One thing that I know is that there is a whole lot of driving involved in everything. Things are very spread out. Stores that I am used to visiting in one trip are across town from each other. Out here, that's a lot of miles on the car. Out here, there is a whole lot of waiting at stop lights.

I have noticed that there are enough dining establishments of one sort or another to fill several weeks of eating out with very few repeats. I would guess that means that people cook less out here, but the grocery store concentration is also very high. There seem to be more than the average number of Walgreens as well.

First Day of Fourth Grade

2005-08-16T21:37:00.000-05:00

Today was Chris's first day of Fourth grade. He did not want his picture taken this morning. :)

State Fair Time

2005-08-14T14:02:00.000-05:00

It is State Fair time again! We went to the Illinois State Fair yesterday. Yes, I know, I live in Missouri, but I always go to the Illinois Fair. Crazy!

The Butter Cow's webcam is still up and running. The 4-H kid showing the Butter Cow creeped us out a little bit.

There was only one litter of piglets in the furrowing center this year, but we actually got to pet the runt. *cute* I just love piglets!

We met my parents at the Ethnic Village to watch Beth dance, but we got interrupted by a sudden downpour.

Although the dancing was brought to a halt, the pipers stayed on stage and continued to pipe right through the weather.

We all ran for cover and huddled under the plastic covers.

Unfortunately, the stage got too wet, so that was the end of the dancing for the evening. Everyone knows Scots can't dance in the rain...

We split off from my family and went to watch a few classes of the Society Horse Show. There was a mechanical bull outside the Coliseum, and Chris just had to try it out. He did really well! It was so cute and funny to see him up there making funny faces and holding on so tight with his little legs :-D

The Squishy Stuff Hit the Fan

2005-08-12T20:02:00.000-05:00

Today at the Squishy Place, a formal announcement came down that in a few months' time, smoking will no longer be allowed on company property. Not outside, not in your car in the parking lot; N.O.W.H.E.R.E. It hasn't yet been a full year since I quit smoking, so I am very much on the fence in this debate. I understand where the company owners are coming from, and I really don't dispute their right to chose to ban tobacco products from their property. Noone disputes the fact that alcohol is a legal product that has no place in the work environment, and the management feels that tobacco falls into the same category. Despite what every smoker thinks, nicotine actually does impair concentration, and I can tell you without any question that it is a mood altering drug. The company is very freely offering financial support to those smokers who wish to quit. I don't necessarily feel that they are in the wrong to clearly state what they will and will not allow on their property.

However, I remember very clearly what the physical dependence on the nicotine is like. I don't envy the smokers one bit. They are of legal age, and using a completely legal product. I don't think we're going to see much indoor smoking anymore anywhere, but I don't really have a problem with designated smoking areas outside. As long as it doesn't start cutting into the work day, taking a smoke break or two really shouldn't be an issue. Non-smokers take restroom breaks. We all have to make occasional personal calls during business hours. In this case, there is an hour's paid lunch each day that we can use as we see fit. I think that they are going to simply clock out for five minutes at a time and cross the street for their smoke breaks. It would be more accomidating if the company provided a covered area with trash cans, but I know the smokers will find a way to work around the ban. If all else fails, they can find a place to work where they won't have to put up with being discriminated against for their chosen legal activity. This seems like a calculated risk on the company's part, because there are some people who are very good at what they do who are up in arms over this issue and they may wind up losing some valuable people in the long run.

I am too new to chime in much on the subject, other than to tell the smokers that I don't envy them, and to tell the non-smokers that this is yet another reason that I'm glad to have quit.

Things are coming together around here

2005-08-11T21:56:00.000-05:00

At least it is starting to look a little bit like an occupied building ;)

My flowers look nice out on the patio. They aren't grouped as tightly together here, so I think I am going to rearrange my planting scheme for next year. It is too late in the year to do anything about it for this year. I may put some mums out by the front door in about six weeks or so.

This is the new dining room table my parents bought for us as a house-warming gift.

Oh, I'm still alive

2005-08-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

And you're singing a Pearl Jam song now, aren't you?

I am so exhausted! Everything fit into one truckload on Saturday, we got it all physically into the new apartment by 4:00, and we've been working fairly constantly ever since.

It feels very nice to sit down for a few minutes, even though I really am doing actual work in other windows as I type this. I hope the other windows hurry with their work, because what I really need tonight is actual sleep.

When there are a few fewer boxes sitting out, I'll upload some pictures of the new place. It is bigger. There are two bathrooms. There are two walk-in closets!

Busy, Busy, Busy

2005-08-04T19:17:00.000-05:00

Between my new job and packing, I've had very little time to play with this big white box. So far the job is going well. There is a lot to absorb, but I think I'm getting it. It isn't that bad. Hopefully things will keep going like they have been.

We've got Chris's room all packed up, most of the living room, and nothing from the kitchen, our bedroom, or the bathroom. Eek! I feel like I've been filling up boxes for eons, and I still have soooo much to do.

The computer is going to be boxed up soon - probably tomorrow night. I haven't arranged for new internet service yet either - eek! More work to do! I guess this means that I may be offline for a while.

Pie

2005-07-31T22:29:00.001-05:00

What do you do with eighteen cups of blackberries? Make pie, of course!

Here's my not quite as beautiful as I'd like, but delicious nonetheless blackberry pie:

(No store bought crusts for me, that's why they're not perfectly pretty.)

Farm Living Is the Life for Me

2005-07-31T10:18:00.001-05:00

Or at least farm visiting. I didn't realize that I had not yet taken Dennis on a grand tour of my Aunt & Uncle's farm near Prairietown, Illinois. I had been telling him about picking blackberries though, and we wanted to meet up with my Mom and Chris before they left for Indiana for a few days, so we decided to kill a few birds with one stone by heading over there for the evening.

First we stood around petting Commanche and Star for a while. Dennis is a little shy around horses, but he likes them. 'Manche is too sick to ride, so we just talked to them and smashed a few horse flies. Then we headed out to the cow pasture to get blackberries. I did not realize that Dennis has never ridden a four wheeler before, so I had to teach him and remember to not run off without him.

We picked about 300 yards of brambles along the back pasture fence. There were berries everywhere. These are the serious kind, with deadly thorns that reach out and grab your arms and legs, and sometimes swing around behind you and smack you across the back. I always thought that a little bit of blood makes the berries taste sweeter. We wound up with about eighteen cups (a gallon plus a little) worth of them. (I didn't measure how many they ate before they could get into the buckets.)

The next stop was the cow herd. They've taught the cows to come when they are called by feeding them day-old bread. We hollered the secret code word ("Dolly, Dolly, Dolly") and the whole herd came rambling over, headed by the new red Limousine bull. We were hand feeding them hamburger buns for about half an hour. You can even reach out and pet the bull on the nose after he scoops the bread out of your hand with his tongue. There were two babies that were just a few days old, and as cute as can be. We got on the same side of the fence as the herd, and walked among them. It was really cool. This is a new trick, the bull they had when I was in High School would have killed you if you tried this. He ran me up onto more than one hay bale in his time. I definately like the new bull a whole lot better.

We ended the night by eating at the Village Drive In in Bunker Hill. It is right next door to the apartment my Greatgrandma used to live in with her canaries, and right down the street from the Catholic church where we used to have all of our family reunionis. The food is very good, and very cheap. *yum*

C'mon little Squishy...

2005-07-26T18:33:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day on the job at the Squishy Place. I am fairly certain that I can do my job. It is just going to be a matter of getting the jargon, pricing structure, and details into my brain. (And getting them to stay there!) I know exactly what the difficult part is going to be, and I know that the only thing that can get me through it is time and experience. I'm allowing myself mistakes. I know they are going to happen.

I don't know if I will ever be a superstar at this. I also don't really want the job that this position ultimately grows into. Maybe I can leap-frog it ;)

Home Sweet? Home

2005-07-24T12:41:00.000-05:00

My ten year High School Reunion was last night. I did not go. I didn't feel like paying $34 to see people I just don't really care about. Sorry.

I did go to Litchfield though. I took Dennis to Party in the Park. We rode carnival rides, ate pork patties, and had the best lemon shake-ups in the whole wide world.

Nana

2005-07-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

I've just finished Emile Zola's Nana. It is not really shocking now, but I certainly understand how shocking it would have been in 1880. The first thought I had was that Paris must have terrified respectable ladies everywhere in the 19th century. I immediately thought of Henry James's The Ambassadors and his depiction of Parisian excess. I believe that Henry James hated Emile Zola's naturalistic style. The pairing would have made for an excellent term paper, if I were an energetic English major.

Then I thought of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. Her drive to excess and social ruin was paralleled nicely by Nana's. Two ruined women, and the incessant, moralizing social commentary of two "stodgy old men." Hrmph. Of course this made me think of Virginia Woolf's Orlando. Cross-dressing and lesbianism. Juicy! Orlando in counterpoint to the other novels. Fodder for another paper!

I was amused by the accidental placement of Moll Flanders and Nana in order on my reading list. Nana is an utterly disagreeable character in the end, devoid of any real human emotion. In stark contrast to my favorable impression of Moll Flanders. Both novels carry the question of proto-feminism with them. Is resorting to prostitution the only way for women to exhibit any power at all in a patricharcial society? Is the power of women only vested in their youth and good looks? Is it wrong for a woman to use her sexuality when it is the only card she has to play? Are the male authors wrong for refusing to give women any other power at all? Are they justified in highlighting the folly of men (society) in this way? What does it say about women? In my mind, these two are better off than the silly heroines of the Romantic period that fell squarely between the two works.

I was impressed with Zola's writing. I'm sure the novel is exceedingly beautiful in French, if I could read just it. I am interested in details like the inner workings of a Paris theater. I was enthralled by the description of the horse races. I like this style of writing because I am not distracted by the details. I think I prefer it to Henry James. I do like that it is more complex than Defoe. Of course I believe we've come around to another period of "naturalism" with our reality TV driven world.

Mom is the hardest job of all.

2005-07-22T07:50:00.000-05:00

What children take from us, they give…We become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply, and love more deeply. -Sonia Taitz

Chris and I went to Six Flags to play at Hurricane Harbor for a while yesterday afternoon. It was our 'last day of summer' as he is gone today with his Dad (he left early this weekend for his Aunt Mary's wedding), we have plans to spend the day Monday shopping for school clothes and supplies, and I start my new job Tuesday. He's going to spend two weeks with my parents, then we are moving, then he's got a week of YMCA camp in St. Charles, then he's off to school. Already. Yesterday was the last real day of our summer off together.

Children might or might not be a blessing, but to create them and then fail them was surely damnation. -Lois McMaster Bujold

I was up so late last night in tears. Really sobbing. It was miserable. Frankly, I'm not in much better shape right now. I feel like I used to when Chris was a tiny baby, and I'd sit up with him in the middle of the night holding him and trying hard to cry silently as he nursed himself back to sleep. I knew those nights were precious and would be a distant memory all too soon. I'm immersed in a deep sense of loss. I don't just feel that yesterday was our last day of this summer. I feel the weight of the things we should have done, the weight of the days we didn't interact at all, the weight of the days we didn't set foot outside of the apartment. I don't know that I'll ever have another entire summer off to spend with my son. I don't know that he would appreciate it if I did. I hate to think that I've squandered the age of eight. I am not sure when boys make the turn into nasty adolescents, but I know it happened to me at twelve. God, what I wouldn't do to have another day, another week, a time warp - something! I wish our whole summer could have been spent in the same sense of discovery and family that we had during our camping trip.

The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears. -Ellen Goodman

This really is tough. I'm the mother of an only child, so he gets to bear all of my hopes and fears, all of my anxiety and joy, and of course, all of my maternal love.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. -Mark Twain

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2005-07-20T10:31:00.000-05:00

I took Chris to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this afternoon. I honestly did not expect anything other than a good movie from Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. I enjoyed seeing another of Burton's frequent flyers, Helena Bonham Carter, as Mrs. Bucket. She carried a hint of Marla Singer with her, which just added to the general oddness of the movie. (Unlike in Big Fish, where she was completely transformed.) In the end, it is a movie based on a children's book.

It Pours. (When it Rains)

2005-07-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

I got a callback for a second interview at the place that I was certain hated me. I am not supposed to hear back from them until Tuesday of next week, the day I am scheduled to start at the Squishy place. I am torn. I hope they call, but I also hope they don't call.

I think that the not-bombed interview place would ultimately be a better employer. I think that the Squishy place will not value and respect me nearly as much. But I also think that the not-bombed place may push just a little harder than I am really ready for. If they do call, I may duck out on the Squishy place. Especially if they call sooner than Tuesday. If I've already started and signed paperwork, I don't know if I will leave or not. The day-to-day details of the two jobs are relatively similar, but I will be processing payroll at the second place as well, which is absolutely a transferable skill that I am looking to put on my resume. The second place will most likely offer the dollar I talked myself out of asking for at the Squishy place. I do not have details of their benefits package yet, so I can't compare them. It is out of my hands right now anyway. I think it is a decision I will make on the spur of the moment based on what feels right. If they call, that is.

And I shall call him Squishy

2005-07-15T14:47:00.000-05:00

Apparently the strife of the last few days over job-hunting, and my general employability, were the birthing pains of a new career. Yesterday, I was offered a job in an entirely different department that the one I had interviewed for. It sounded like a lot more work, and more difficult work at that, for about the same amount of money.

I felt low-balled. I felt uneasy. I think a lot of it is residual burn from my last situation. I slept on it.

I told Dennis I would not take it for less than X per hour. I had revised my figure down one whole dollar by this morning, and called them with my decision.

They fudged over the number. Still. After I'd come down a whole dollar.

I think $2000 per year means a lot more to the employee than it does to the employer.

Then they offered it to me for the price I was asking. I took it.

In actuality, I do need the money - yesterday. This is a whole dollar more than I made the last time I was working full time. With benefits. And there is a company match on the 401K. And I think I was hired into the department I would have been moving up into.

What is up with the title? My new employer shall be known as "The Squishy Place." Suffice it to say the main product is something specifically designed to be squished. It is a squishy business. I hope that the nature of the product will lend itself to an enjoyable environment. I think I may already have a friend in the receptionist.

Oh Snap!

2005-07-15T11:42:00.000-05:00

Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue were just on Fox 2 News at Noon, which is actually on at 11:00.

Tommy Lee just called John Pertzborn an asshole live on air!

John: "One last question: who rocked harder in the 80s, Motley Crue or Poison?"

Nikki: "Who?!?!??"

Akward silence, John starts a crappy segway, is in the middle of thanking them...

Tommy: "What an asshole!"

Someone has to have a clip of this...

(This post has been hit all day today. Please leave a comment to let me know where you've found the link in. I usually don't do this much traffic on a single page in one day.)

Am I unemployable?

2005-07-13T20:01:00.002-05:00

Here's my latest bathroom mirror flash effect picture, taken while preparing for my interview today.

And here's my pity-party rant of the day:
I'm beginning to think that I am absolutely unable to secure meaningful employment for myself. I had a better go of it before I finished my degree. I had another interview that I think I bombed. The place that I was fairly confident would call hasn't. GAH! I, like an idiot, quit combing the want ads when I had a flurry of interviews. I have never had an experience where absolutely nothing panned out. It is starting to get to me. I am terrified that I am beyond the point of good judgement. I am ready to jump all over the first offer I get.

GAH!

GRRR!

At this point, I think I am giving up on finding anything meaningful or career-oriented. I am down to the last minute, I must have some source of income soon, the move is approacing so quickly. I think I am going to explore retail and resturant opportunities in the greater St. Charles area tomorrow afternoon.

Slightly Touched

2005-07-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

There is a thin line between touching and touched. I think Dennis may be ever so slightly over that line sometimes. He asked Chris and I to accompany him while he buried his beloved pet Shelby. We made our way out into the Jefferson County woods in the middle of an all-day rain from the remnants of Hurricane Dennis. We carried with us two umbrellas, a shovel, and a small, makeshift coffin. It was, quite literally, a tropical rain forest on this particular evening. There was a gentle green haze hanging near the earth as we picked our way down to a flat-rock creek bed about half a mile into the wilderness. After navigating several healthy stands of poison ivy, we crossed the creek, and clambered up the sandstone bluff and bank on the opposite side. This was the spot Dennis had selected. This soil doesn't really facilitate actual digging per se, it is more accurate to call it "rock chopping" or "shovel destroying" - that is, of course, if you choose to classify it as soil at all. As we neared eight in the evening, the hole was finally large enough, and Shelby was laid to rest, finally. I couldn't help but wonder if the love of my life was completely freaking nuts while I stood deep in the woods in a the middle of a tropical depression watching him chip away at the hard ground completely uncovered with rainwater dripping down his face.

Moll Flanders

2005-07-11T13:13:00.000-05:00

I've been working on the current entry on my reading list for the past five weeks. It has been slow because finding time to sit and read undisturbed has been almost impossible. I've been picking my way through my "summer reading list" for over a year now...

Moll Flanders, or "The Fortunes & Misfortunes of the famous Moll Flanders &c. Who was Born in Newgate, and during a Life of continu'd Variety for Threescore Years, besides her Childhood, was Twelve Year a Whore, five times a Wife (whereof once to her own Brother), Twelve Year a Thief, Eight Year a Transport Felon in Virginia, at last grew Rich, liv'd Honest, and died a Penitent. Written from her own Memorandums..." by Daniel Defoe, was a good, simple early novel. Depsite the absolutely reprehensible life she lived, you can't help but like the title character.

There was nothing difficult about the reading that held me up. It flows easily, and once you adjust to the verbose (almost spoken-word) style, it runs right along. It is the story of an entire lifetime, so there are pleanty of details along the way, but it is nothing overwhelming. It was a very good summer read, because no matter how many times I had to put it down, I was always able to keep up with the story along the way.

Hurricane Dennis

2005-07-11T10:19:00.001-05:00

It is always fun when a storm shares a name with a loved one. We've been cracking "Dennis" jokes all weekend.

Current visible satellite image:

Hurricane Dennis is currently downgraded to Tropical Depression Dennis. We are just moments away from getting the first rain band here in South County. I think the drought conditions here, and severe drought conditions to our south are going to contribute to flooding. Hard, dry ground doesn't sponge up water any better than saturated ground does, so this heavy rain is likely to cause washouts and erosion. It will be like dumping a five-gallon bucket of water on your tomato plants once in the middle of summer. It may help for a few days, if the force of it doesn't kill your plants, but it isn't going to help in the long run without some regular moisture afterwards. I'm still grateful for the rain. I think the St. Louis area is going to get the fringes, which will hopefully give us enough rain, but spare us from the five-gallon bucket effect.

Goodbye to a Dear Friend

2005-07-10T22:11:00.001-05:00

We had to put our baby rat, Shelby, to sleep this evening. She never fully recovered from her surgery and bronchitis in May. She had been stuck on her left side, unable to eat or drink, since Thursday evening. We kept thinking that “it can’t be much longer now,” but she kept hanging on, and on, and on, and on. Dennis finally asked me this afternoon to see what we could do to ease her suffering. I did some research, and found that we could do it at home with Carbon Dioxide. She went peacefully in less than eight minutes from beginning to end. All three of us are teary-eyed and quiet tonight. We are going to give her a “proper burial” tomorrow evening.

Shelby was one of nine babies my rat Belle had on December 5, 2003. We hand-raised them from day one:

We could only keep one of the babies, and Dennis chose this spunky brown-hoodie with a tiny white stripe on top of her head. Here she is at about 25 days old:

Shelby was always a silly, active, cute, and sweet pet. She also had great taste in cars:

She grew into a beautiful, sleek, friendly adult:

Rest in peace, Shelby Jane Doza - 12/5/03 – 7/10/05.

I had to twist my brain

2005-07-07T16:30:00.000-05:00

Lifted from the-only-person-from-High-School-that-I-still-speak-to’s journal:

List ten fictional characters you would have sex with, and then tag five friends.

(No particular order.)

1. Wade “Crybaby” Walker (Johnny Depp), Crybaby
2. Batman/Bruce Wayne
3. Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff), Garden State
4. The Man With No Name / Joe (Clint Eastwood), A Fistful of Dollars/A Few Dollars More/The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
5. Lorelei Lee (Marilyn Monroe) & Dorothy Shaw (Jane Russell), Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
6. Doug Heffernan (Kevin James), The King of Queens
7. Beatrix Kiddo/The Bride/ Black Mamba (Uma Thurman), Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2
8. Aidan Shaw (John Corbett), Sex in the City
9. Bo Darville/”The Bandit” (Burt Reynolds), Smokey and the Bandit
10. Jack Skellington, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Sims

2005-07-05T14:07:00.001-05:00

I've been trying to figure out how to decorate and arrange the furniture at the new apartment. I got tired of trial and error on paper, so I got out the Sims and tried that.

It isn't exact, but it is faster to just point and click than it is to erase and redraw. It isn't 3D Home Architect, but it is a whole lot cheaper. And you can play with the people after you're done arranging too.

The thing by the white couch is a computer armoire. I haven't found it yet, but I'm going to get one anyway. I have found a round glass-top table for the dining room. I'm not going for the blue formica, despite how good it looks in the Sim version.