Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Next Blog

The Next Blog button is evil!

I've gotten stuck, been reading the Next Blog too much this afternoon.

I'm sad/pissed at the moment over something that rarely gets to me anymore. Kerry Crowe's Blog started it. Shit! It isn't just her, there's a whole group of them - check the links. Young, pretty, in grad school, active, busy, nice, funny, intelligent, free-thinking, spirited. Very very rarely anymore I stumble upon regrets. I wanted to be Kerry Crowe. I could have been too, shit! I almost went to NIU. I was accepted, it was just a matter of who offered the best financial aid package. Hrm, come to think of it, I would have been leaving NIU for grad school at the U of I the same year Kerry Crowe was leaving the U of I for grad school at NIU. Ironic...

Everyone has been on me to get a hobby. I was all excited about it too, because I thought I'd finally settled on something new, cheap, and relatively easy to try out. But now I'm all out of sorts, so it seems so stupid I don't even want to type it. Hrm, I didn't know I was this bitter. Maybe I'll get off my ass and do something. What? Go back to school? Go back in time? Jump off of a bridge? Hard to say when a few minutes ago I was satisfied with a quick trip to the craft store. Yeah, I just realized how unsatisfied I am right now. I know I'm cabable of more, worth more, better than this. I never wanted to eek out anything. I've gotta buckle down and figure out what I do want and how to best apply myself to reaching that goal. Oh crap, I didn't want to go through this today. Told you the Next Blog button is evil.


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