June 7, 2002, is the day Dennis and I first admitted to each other that we were feeling more than just friendly feelings toward each other.
The entire text is uploaded to The Summer of 2002 Blog.
I started it with this paragraph:
"My crush on you is wearing off. Uh, a *friend crush* instead of the other kind - for a while it was like 'gotta email Dennis, gotta email Dennis' all the time. So now we've proven that we're similar and we can get along and what not. And it's like - uhhhhh - now what? Good thing it was a friend crush instead of the other kind - cause this is when the lust wears off and we'd break up :) So I'm trying to figure out where you fit - you're different because you're a digital friend, but I'll probably see you in real life at least once a month (Dennis = Aunt Flo???) So it's different - in real life you are just different somehow - more 3 dimensional maybe that's it? And I'm thinking "do I say this or not?" a little now - cause it may come back someday to make me blush - since I'm very bold with a keyboard, but very shy in the real world. :o Although I do type :o a lot :o Guh - and why does this bother me? Because I've been sitting at home with not much to do for a few days - thinking about stupid stuff that probably doesn't matter at all. You can make anything into a big deal if you concentrate on it long enough :) Well, anyway, just hit me over the head when you're ready I'm working Saturday and Sunday (w00ty w00ty woot)"
The truth is that I already loved him. I just had no idea how to deal with it, and I assumed I must have been insane to feel as passionately as I did after such a short time, not to mention the fact that I was married to someone else. Crazy!
I still love him too, at least as much as I did then.